If you had told me the night before I ran the 2019 Boston Marathon that I would miss my race goal, I would have been disappointed. If you had told me that I wouldn’t run a qualifying time for Boston 2020, I would have been upset. And if you had told me that I would be nearly half an hour slower than what I trained for, I would have been furious.
All of those scenarios happened. And yet I never felt any anger. I missed my race objectives badly, but waves of gratitude flooded over me as I crossed the finish line for a third straight year. I don’t regret going all in after my goals.
At the starting line in Hopkinton, I felt amazing — better than I ever have going into a marathon. My buildup was full of quality workouts, and race pace felt easy when I ran my 20-second pickups during my Saturday shakeout run. I started the 2019 Boston Marathon with high confidence and hope.
For the first 10K, I felt great. I could tell I was sweating a lot, but I didn’t feel like it was affecting me. My paces were right in line with my goal, and I still thought it could be a PR effort.
Then I started to feel like I was working really hard to stay on pace. That should have been my sign to slow down a little and start increasing my fluid and nutrition intake. Unfortunately I didn’t adjust.
By the halfway point I was working really hard to stay on secondary goal pace. I started running calculations in my head of how much I could slow down each mile and still hit certain times — always a bad sign.
The temperature had pushed into the 70s with sky-high humidity. I had trained in wind with some warmer runs, but I hadn’t run in humid conditions in months.
The heat and humidity ate me alive. I forced myself to keep running through the Newton hills. At the top of Heartbreak Hill, I told myself that it was all down hill to the finish. If I picked up my pace slightly, I could still finish in the 2:55 range and at least run a BQ time (sub 3 hours).
As I ran down the other side of Heartbreak, I knew I was toast. I had tried to double up on water starting in mile 17, but my body was rejecting the fluid. It was too late. I threw up multiple times and slowed to a walk. Mile 23 took me almost 9 minutes, mile 24 was a 10:26, and mile 25 was my slowest at 13:22.
I felt so bad in that final stretch that I was worried about passing out and not being allowed back on the course by the medical volunteers.
Then, halfway through mile 25, a lady’s hand reached over the barricades to give me a grape popsicle. I walked and ate that popsicle for the rest of that mile, and the coldness and sugar helped wake me up a bit. I started jogging and then picked up my pace for the final iconic turns, right on Hereford, left on Boylston.
Boston didn’t go the way I imagined over and over in my head through 1,000+ training miles. But I enjoyed every single second of that final mile. The crowd cheering on every single run, regardless of pace or qualifying time. Bostonians lining the streets on Patriots’ Day. There is no better place in the running world than the Boston Marathon finish line.
It’s been 10 days since I earned my third unicorn medal. I’m ready to get back to harder workouts. While I do have a Boston 2020 qualifying time already (from California International Marathon back in December), I have failed to hit my objectives in three straight races. My next big race will be Missoula, Montana at the end of June.
I will keep training hard, and I will line up and chase after my goals with everything I have.
The 2019 Boston Marathon defeated me. It was my slowest time in 18 months.
But I will be back to tackle that course again, and I’m even more motivated now.
Boston isn’t supposed to be easy. That’s what makes it great.
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