I crossed the 2025 Eugene Marathon finish line a little more than two weeks ago. I always start races with tiered goals. First, finish without injury. Then some time goals based on how I feel about my training block leading into the race. For the 2025 Eugene marathon, those were to qualify for Boston (sub 3:05), finish in less than three hours, finish around 2:55.
My official finish time: 2:52:53. I started strong and finished strong. And as I walked away from the finish line, I knew I ran close to the limits of my current fitness level. My race plan was solid, and I had executed as well as I could.
I felt something I haven’t experienced in a long time in those final miles of the race: pride and self worth. I had trained well and my race output matched the hard work input.
But as I felt a burst of positive thoughts, I realized how far I still need to go.
What if I had stepped in a pot hole and twisted my ankle, forcing me to slow down significantly or drop out? What if I hadn’t been able to hold my pace in the final 10K? How would I have felt if I needed to walk off and on as the clock ticked past all of my goals?
I knew deep down that all of my negative self thoughts were still just a missed goal away. Why does the time on the clock dictate how I view myself.
I know failures await in the future. They are a big part of living. Failure helps balance life. Falling short of a goals leads to achieving something feel even better.
But a failure shouldn’t equal worthlessness. For me, that has often been my mindset. When I ran the California International Marathon for the first time, I finished in less than 2:50. That is a finish time I would be elated to hit currently. But it wasn’t my goal at the time, and I wallowed for weeks. I drove straight home to Las Vegas, skipping my planned celebration meal. Instead I drove through a fast food place and told myself I didn’t deserve anything special.
So many times I’ve chosen negative thoughts for myself. I have discounted big goals reached and elevated all failures, even slight ones.
My immediate reaction after the 2025 Eugene Marathon was elation. Then came the fear that I care too much about the finish time still, and I wouldn’t have been able to handle a poor race performance.
But in the past two weeks since the race, I’ve thought more about the balance between working hard to accomplish a goal and not letting the outcome dictate my self worth. I realized that even thinking about this equilibrium is a sign of progress. How can I work on negative thoughts and attempt to rewire my brain pathways without recognizing the overall patterns?
Even my best races in the past haven’t provided lasting self confidence or satisfaction. I’ve quickly transitioned back to pushing for something faster and beating myself up mentally when it doesn’t happen quickly.
When the finish time equals self worth, it’s never enough. There are always faster runners (not a single man alive right now can say he’s has the marathon world record).
So I’m choosing to feel satisfied with my 2025 Eugene Marathon. The course was incredible as usual. This was my third and fastest time in what I consider my hometown race (since there isn’t a road marathon in Corvallis). I saw family and friends along the way and had an incredible day overall with amazing support.
I’m still going to keep training, and I will always set high goals, but I don’t want race results to define who I am or dictate how I feel about myself.
I will focus on being content and grateful for the overall journey. For today, at least, I have confidence in good things ahead. What good is physical health without mental health?
Congrats! Every marathon finish is epic!