Marathon training is never perfect. It is never linear progress, and there are always difficult moments and bad weeks. For me, week eight of my buildup to September’s Boston qualifier attempt could have defeated me.
The downward spiral started when I woke up Monday night coughing. So I didn’t make my track workout Tuesday morning. Then on Wednesday came life upheaval. Thursday was the first day of the week that I was able to run a workout, and I did 25 sets of one minute hard, one minute easy running. In those miles I felt like nothing mattered any more. My training, my goals, my life.
By the end of Friday, I was in pieces. After a challenging week with sickness, life crisis, and very little sleep, I didn’t think I would even attempt a long run.
But I found myself awake at 4 a.m. I was laying there going over the week and how it felt like everything had fallen apart. Marathon training and qualifying for Boston felt insignificant. And it also felt impossible.
But somehow I got out of bed, got dressed, and started running. As I clicked off miles, I started feeling lighter. And by the end of the run, at mile 23, I felt hopeful.
I have a lot of things to be grateful for. Running is on that list. It gives me time to think through problems, and it gives me moments of meditation. And this week prayer.
As I pushed uphill in the final miles of my long run, I thought about all of the races I’ve run. In them, like in life, it has never been completely smooth. There are always points where I want to quit. Moments where I feel like a failure. For me, when those moments come, I have allowed my brain to spiral even more into thinking I’m worthless.
Saturday was different. I hit a rough spot, and I felt the uncomfortable thoughts creeping. And I made a choice to reframe what I was thinking. I was in a dark spot, but light was ahead. I claimed a victory before it even happened.
I don’t know if I will hit a BQ with my September race. That goal is important to me and to how I define myself. But I’m looking at it through a new perspective now. I want my life to be defined differently than that. I’m choosing to change how I show up in the world, and how I think about myself and my future.
Unless something terrible happens, I will run my September race. I know there will be moments during those miles where I want to quit. Moments where I feel like I’ve failed and want to sink into doom and gloom. But they will pass. And no matter the outcome, I will choose to move forward.
Last week was one of the toughest of my life. And one of the most necessary for me to have clarity and hope.
Less than a month to go until race day. I don’t know if I will hit my goal, but I’m going to be ready to try.
Weekly log
Monday: 8 miles easy to start the week; 7 miles for a double.
Tuesday: 5 miles easy while coughing a lot.
Wednesday: 3 miles easy while still sick.
Thursday: 10-mile tempo workout with 25 X 1 min on, 1 min off; 5 miles easy for a double.
Friday: 6 miles easy in the morning and couldn’t do a planned double because my daughter was sick and throwing up.
Saturday: 23-mile long run, my best of the training cycle so far (which was unexpected).
Sunday: 7 miles with 6 hill sprints at the end to hit another workout to close a crazy week.
Total miles: 75
Boston Beard 2024 week 8 highlights: finding a way to get my miles and workouts done through really tough situations, feeling hopeful about the future, watching so many inspiring events from the Olympics.