Three weeks ago today I got the email I knew was coming. Subject: “129th Boston Marathon — Notice of Non-Acceptance.” I didn’t make the cutoff, which ballooned to 6:51 faster than qualifying time. I had 4:56, so I missed by two minutes and five seconds. The Boston Marathon cutoff can cut deep.
My Boston Marathon finisher streak will end with eight straight. My goal had been to reach at least 10 Boston finishes in a row, although that goal was a little wonky with my streak including the virtual 2020 race.
Missing out on Boston is nothing new for me, though. The Boston Marathon cutoff got me the first two years I qualified. I was able to sign up but didn’t make it into the field in 2015 and 2016 as well, so I’m now a three-time Boston reject.
It is difficult to meet a tough standard, and then still not be good enough. I knew this year would be a long shot. Minor injuries and bad circumstances led to poor race performances last fall and this past spring. Then I was all in on one final attempt to qualify at the start of September. I struck to my training and wrote about my progress weekly. In three months I went from highly doubtful to confident I was in good enough shape to BQ with plenty of time to beat the Boston Marathon cutoff.
But marathons are never simple. I had a rough race day and couldn’t hold on long enough to get into the field. I wrote about that race (and a lot of really tough life changes) here.
The Boston Athletic Association also announced they are changing the standard by five minutes for the younger divisions. That means the current qualifying window for the 2026 Boston Marathon stays the same qualifying time for me. Because I’ll be 40 on race day in 2026, my age bracket shifts. I should have gotten five extra minutes for aging up. Instead, I’m stuck with the exact same qualifying time I started with back with my first BQ back in 2015. (With those original standards, my time would have been 10 minutes slower by now.)
I feel like a bizarro version of the Wooderson character in “Dazed and Confused.” I keep getting older, and my BQ time just stays the same.
Back when I missed the Boston Marathon cutoff the first two times, I felt like a failure. I worked hard and poured so much into training and racing. Lowering my marathon PR came incrementally. Getting under 3:05 was a long and sometimes painful and frustrating process.
I remember writing about my failure back then. My overall feeling was defeat. Especially the second time missing the cut. I put so much into qualifying and still fell short. Quitting altogether seemed attractive. I felt like running and Boston specifically didn’t care anything about me, and I was assigning it great meaning in my life. Why did I care so much?
When I finally made the Boston Marathon cutoff in 2017, I was elated. At that time, I desperately needed something to claim as my identity. Boston Marathon finisher became my proudest achievement. And I needed to keep that feeling going forward.
For eight straight years, I desperately hung on to that identity. If you see me out in the world, running or just existing, chances are I’m wearing apparel related to Boston. I wasn’t proud of how I showed up in the world in many ways. But being a Boston finisher was something I had.
I look back now and see so many unhealthy attitudes and ideas that had priority in my mind. My instant reaction to most things involved negative self thoughts. Even when my run training was great, I never felt like I was good enough. Finishing Boston every single year for the rest of my life won’t change those thoughts.
So missing out on 2025 is a great opportunity. I am not quitting running, and I’m currently figuring out how to get a better time to make sure I don’t miss the Boston Marathon cutoff in 2026.
But I have a lot of time to work on my inner dialogue. The Boston Marathon means a lot to me. It was a goal that felt impossible when I declared it to the world back in 2013. I am proud of my now-dead finisher streak.
But I must find a healthy way of goal setting and chasing. I followed the path of self-hating motivation, and it led to burnout and ruin. I followed so many other wrong paths as well, but that’s another story.
Just like run training, it’s going to take daily focus and showing up for positive change. Hopefully I can gain some forward momentum.
And as always, congratulations to all of the runners who got into Boston for 2015. And the rest of you who missed the cutoff with me, let’s use it for motivation. In a healthy and positive way.
See you in Hopkinton in April 2026.