I reach for my phone and turn off my alarm. I know I should get out of bed and do something productive to start my day. But I don’t. Instead I go back to sleep, losing yet another of the daily battles I face.
Today is day No. 11 in a row with no run. No miles. No chance for me to get out on the road and clear my head. July ended as my lowest mileage month in years with 70 total miles (I really can’t remember a month where I ran less than 100 miles). My lack of running is making me restless, and all I want is to be able to hit one of my normal routes and not worry about feeling tired.
I don’t know exactly what’s wrong. I can remember the last run where I felt strong. It was on April 3, a 22-mile training run with the final five miles all 6:35 pace or faster. Since, however, I’ve made a long descent into the darkest running spot I’ve been in since at least four years ago.
I’ve been sickly, with a trip to the ER on July 3rd with tonsilitis and several other sick days where I couldn’t shake chills and aches. No matter how much I sleep, it doesn’t feel like it’s enough.
Last week I went to see a doctor, who ordered some blood tests (I’m currently awaiting the results).
So what do I do while I sit and wait?
The best answer would be to work on anything I can. I should be doing daily resistance band work to strengthen my legs, could start some yoga routines and do core work. I should make it a point to eat well, and should go to sleep early and wake up when my alarm sounds.
But instead, I’m losing almost every single one of those daily battles right now. This isn’t a new development. I have people tell me all the time that they saw me running in the middle of the day or in the evening in the bright sunlight. “You’re so dedicated to be running in the heat,” they say. But that isn’t accurate. I’m not so dedicated that I run in the uncomfortable weather. I just missed my morning run and having to suffer through the heat as a punishment.
I have hope, though.
Today is a new day. I’m up, and I’m determined to focus on my daily battles. Eventually I will run again.
So, today I will drink plenty of water and eat well. I will go through my entire leg strength routine. I will not obsess about not running again (tomorrow will mark my longest non running streak in more than four and a half years).
Will power is a funny thing. I seem to gain it with the worst possible timing. Time for bed? Well get ready for a surge of inspiration. Time to wake up? Well will power can wait another day.
But I have determination. It’s time to get to work.
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